Bless'em

I found this in the Open University website, someone posted it in one of the blogs. I was bored at work and started reading it but with little hope since the OU blogs are usually rather uninteresting. How wrong I was... What follows is a collection of very funny metaphors taken from allegedly real GCSE exams. Personally, I think they are similes, not metaphors, but the point is they are funny. It's quite long, so I'll post it in installments.

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of Family Fortunes.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer.

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the centre.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.